04/29

I don’t know how I’m so unstable with my self image an my ability to speak out loud.. I can type for ever more and say everything. but words don’t flow so easy for me. I feel like I’m cracking an I’m trying to hold it smooth but it’s just not as simple as I […]

Watching Myself.

I can’t sleep. Yet again. No surprise really anymore. I’ve finally got to that point where I know the sleep deprivation is making me more cray by the day.. I’ve just spent around 45 minutes crying staring at the ceiling bcus of a fear of abandonment that shouldn’t even exist inside my head. Then as […]

Blanks.

I’m in such a negative place an I’m so unsure how to get out of it. I don’t even know what the cause of this crash is for. I keep going up and stupidly thinking ‘oop we’re out of it’ then ten minutes later I crash harder than before. I wanna do something with my […]

Sensitive.

Some say I’m too sensitive. But the truth is I just feel too much. Every action, word, and every energy hits me and it’s me that has to deal with that negative backlash inside my brain.

I fucked up.

December 21st, that’s was the date before yesterday, I had hoped would stick in my head for the rest of my life. As the last day I cut myself after years of circling the same problem. That was until last night when I woke in the middle of the night blacked out and obviously cut […]

Control.

I’m really struggling with this thing in me head. Theres more of that than there is of me rn. I’ve tried to fight an i won the him wanting me dead battle, but i dunno if i can keep fighting his strength of control. His want to be me and not me. I don’t even […]

12.9 AM

So I’m awake. Early as planned, meaning the morning has started with me already achieving something. I’m going to stay positive today. (attempt to). The plan is to be as productive and positive as possible today. Let see how we can do 🤞